I enjoy that quote from Robert Frost. I use it a lot. Here is the full quote from his poem:

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I...I took the one less traveled by and that has made all the difference."

It's a beautiful poem and a great quote. Very profound. So why didn't I finish it in my subject? Because I'm not sure what I'm ready to do.

I feel like I'm stuck on the road of life. But I'm not really complaining. I enjoy my job more than any I've ever had, I have a safe and secure apartment to come home to, and I have wonderful friends who will always be there to support me.

Lately, there has been a lot of concern from us seasonal folk about being capped at the end of the holiday season. (For those of you who don't know, "capping" is when the company puts a hold on the number of hours seasonal/part-time cast members can work. 24.9 hours, no more.) The capping isn't supposed to last long, but we know a girl who has been capped for months. So, needless to say, there is a bit of concern that if any of us get capped that we will be capped for months on end.

On our salary, before taxes, that's just under $225, assuming we'd be lucky enough to get that many hours. Times four paychecks a month, $900, before taxes. And from that comes rent, utilities, food, gas, student loans, and anything else in the mean time. And I'm well aware how lucky I am that I don't have to worry about paying for my insurance or my car. Could I live on that? Probably, with some effort. But for how long?

The obvious answer to that problem is to get a second job. The long and the short is that I'm nervous about looking into a second job. My work history is limited to retail and a few day care centers/summer camps. I'm not ready to try to be a seating hostess/waitress. I wouldn't know where to start looking. And even if I wanted to transfer inside the company, I wouldn't be able to until late January.

At this bend in the road, I start thinking back to grad school. I really do want to study Drama and Theatre for Youth. I've found a couple of programs around the U.S. that offer that MFA and one that even offers a PhD. A few offer Theatre Education. I don't know the difference between the two, but I like the idea of focusing on youth. I called my college professor for education the other day and told her about the program. Her first reaction was "Oh, my goodness, Nikki! That's perfect for you." And I couldn't agree more.

My problem is that looking into grad schools means moving again. I've already gone from home to college, college back home, and now from home to Florida. And, frankly, I think that half the reason it was easier for me to move than I thought was because of the emotional trauma I was dealing with. My personal life was hanging by a thread in a few cases and Disney had always been like a home to me. Moving to the castle and next door to Mickey was like going home. Yes, I miss my family and the few Ohio friends I have like crazy. But most of my Ohio friends and now spread throughout the state and, in some cases, the country.

I'm not saying that in order to go to grad school I'd have to be on that same personal low. I just don't want to leave the friends I have down here. Some of them have already left the company, some have moved back home, some are finishing school. I really miss the ones who have left already. Laura is doing her wedding planner school online. I don't think I'd like to do grad school online. I don't even know if that's an option. Right now, all I know is I need a GRE score.

I can't decide what to do...how to move forward. I don't want to leave Disney...or my friends.

...I think I want to look into the grad schools further...but I'm scared.

I think I need some help.

My subject makes me giggle. Since coming to Disney, I've discovered I have a talent for adding new lyrics to old songs. Rob and I pursue our hobby together and it's very amusing.

Survived again, which is always a great thing. My current gripe with this holiday season is I cannot get my body used to it. Here's how the day goes:

Around 10:30/11am -- Wake up
Then-3pm -- Roll out of bed, sit on my computer, watch TV. No one's at home.
3pm -- FINALLY get hungry, about 4 hours after I've gotten up
3:30pm -- Eat whatever I made
4-5:15pm -- More computer/TV/packing for the night
5:30 -- Drive to work as people get home from work.
6:15 -- Clock and check in
6:30-12am -- Work/play, etc. This includes a few quick snacks.
12:10am -- Get home, a little hungry, not quite tired. Everyone's already asleep.

Notice how many times I ate? One meal and some random snacks. By the time I get home, I figure it's too late to have a whole meal because A) I'm tired; and B) I have work the next morning. My body can't get used to it. And no, I'm not starving myself. I'm just honestly not hungry. I've never been able to eat first thing in the morning. And when I do, I normally get sick to my stomach.

As part of that gripe, I'm bored as heck at home. All of my roommates work day shifts and I'm on the night shift. Most of my other friends are either working during the day or taking class. And I haven't had luck getting a hold of friends who work nights like me. It's weird. I'm trying to get my body accustomed to the strain of this schedule, so I like to be able to sit and relax on the couch. But I so badly want company or something productive to do. I can only go online and cross-stitch for so long. And I have to be in the right mood for scrapbooking and writing.

*sighs*

Well, Rob's parents are in town this week and Cole is moving back to Orlando tomorrow. Hopefully one of them will ensure I have a nice free evening tomorrow. Start saying your prayers for Sunday...14 hours, here I come.

So, in the past few years, I haven't gotten out to see some of the newer Disney animated movies. Once the Golden Era ended (right around the time of Hercules), I kind of lost interest. And then after "The Wild" was released, I tried to crawl into a corner and hide. (I'm still trying to ignore that movie's existence...and I think the rest of the company is, too.)

But lately I've had the opportunity to see some of the newer Disney movies and I took some shots that weren't fair. I'd go see the trailers for these movies and decide that they didn't look too appealing. But, after watching them, they're good. Are they "Lion King" good? No, not really. But they're still worth watching!

So, I've gone online and have now compiled a list of all of the Disney animated feature films (including the Pixar ones). Here are the ones I still need to see:

Saludos Amigos
The Three Caballeros
Make Mine Music (I've seen a few segments)
Fun and Fancy Free (I haven't seen "Bongo")
Melody Time
The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (I've seen parts)
The Great Mouse Detective
Fantasia 2000
Dinosaur
Atlantis: The Lost Empire
The Wild (and, frankly, I think I'll be fine without it)
Home on the Range
Cars (I haven't seen it all the way through)

Right around the time of Dinosaur, I just thought Disney was reaching a little too far.

But I really like the ones I've seen recently...and I can thank my roomies for these:

Chicken Little -- Really cute movie! Again, not a classic, but definitely worth watching at least once. Love the sidekicks and the new twist.

Meet the Robinsons -- Quickly becoming one of my favorite Disney movies. Lots of good humor, some touching moments, and a great
moral to take home.

WALL-E -- I saw this one before I came down to Disney. I almost died when the movie started up with the "Hello, Dolly!" soundtrack. That was the easiest way to win my heart. Again, touching moments and good humor. Amazing how a movie with little dialogue can really hold your interest.

Tinker Bell -- When I first heard that Tinker Bell was going to talk, I was floored. But, the movie was pretty cute. The more I watch it, the more I like it. At times, it feels more like a really long cartoon episode than a movie, but it's still worth watching once.

Bolt -- Probably should have seen this sooner. We saw it on the cruise. Again, really cute movie. I'd like to see it again. It's going to hold a special place in my heart with Crystal. We identify with it...and kind of miss having Bolt and Mittens around.

Up -- Just finished it. What a touching movie. It made some really cute references and there were times when it got very deep. I kind of want to go visit the characters again, now that I know the story line. I enjoyed it...and I'd like to watch it again.

Tinker Bell and the Lost Treasure -- Wasn't as good as the first, but sequels never tend to be as good as the original. Again, it seemed like a drawn out cartoon episode. But it wasn't bad.

The Princess and the Frog -- I am counting down to see this movie. I cannot wait!! I have a feeling it's going to be one of my new favorites.

Oh, the subject?  :)  Josh was searching music quotes last night and came across that one.  We thought it was really funny because the jazz-playing alligator in "The Princess and the Frog" is named Louis, too.

Anyway, I hope everyone who still reads this is doing well.  Once again, my body woke me up a little sooner than planned, so I thought I would give this here blog a little update.

I'm finished with overnight rehearsals.  The cast preview was a lot of fun.  I wish I could have seen more people, but the cheers and support were equally wonderful.  It's so much fun to get that extra support.  It's just what you need to keep on going.  Tonight is the first Xmas party...the real debut, if you will.  Nervous?  Of course.  Excited?  Yeah.  Slightly more nervous at this point, though, because my stomach and I aren't getting along this morning.

Life after training is interesting.  I've been working mostly nights since September.  I kind of miss working full days.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy sleeping in.  But most everyone I know is working days, too, so I really don't have a reason to get up in the morning.  I kind of let myself sleep until the late morning, then leisurely roll out of bed and putz around the house.  TV, internet, cross stitch, a meal in a few hours, errands if necessary.  And then when everyone at my place is coming home, I'm heading out.  It's kind of depressing to be home alone all day a few days a week.  I guess if you enjoy having time to yourself, it's not bad.  Not that I don't enjoy some quality Nikki time.  But sometimes, it's just nice to have someone else around.

And the weird thing is that it makes my days off even more awkward.  Normally, my day off was when I got to relax and enjoy myself.  But that's not any different than a party day.  And on party days, I'm not really a fan of going to the parks because I want to conserve my energy for later.  But the last few days have been nice.  On days when I don't work parties, I get to spend time out with friends or just relaxing at home.  Last night, Jenna, Josh and I made dinner and then sat through a movie and Dancing with the Stars.

Y'know what's weird?  Josh and his mom are leaving Saturday for their cruise and they'll be gone a week.  And while I know I'll miss him, I just realized it's not going to be much different than now.  Because by the time I wake up, he's already on his way to work.  And then when he gets home, I'm on my way.  And when I get home, he's in bed.  So, maybe I won't notice the change as much.  And I have a few distractions in the works.  I have a workshop on my night off, a slumber party for the other free night, and Rob's parents will be in town and they want me to visit with them.  Also, Rob's heading home the week of Thanksgiving, so I'll have time to see him before he leaves.

I don't know...I just kind of feel like I'm up the creek without a paddle.  Every time I write here, I think more and more about a lot of the posts I have written.  And I start wondering if I was a happier, more optimistic person before Disney.  Because even though my senior year in college was a little bit of a train wreck on my emotional stability, I feel like I'm more prone to getting upset down in Florida...which is especially weird when I think about the number of friends from Ohio I still talk to.

Again, I don't know.

On another note, Margaret and I are in the process of planning out Christmas decorations for the apartment.  She's getting us a tree and then we're going to decorate it.  I want to incorporate garland into the apartment somewhere, but I haven't decided where.  And we're thinking about those little battery candles for the windows.  Also, Jenna's going to be putting her menorah somewhere in the apartment, which I think will be really fun.  I don't have very many friends who don't celebrate Christmas, so I'm excited to learn about her traditions...and I can't wait to help her be a part of ours.

I think I'm going to write again...see if I can get out some of these confused emotions.  I can't wait until my computer is restored so I can have my old music and poems back.

Much love to all!
~ Nikki

Hi all!  I found a few minutes before work tonight and thought I'd catch you up on life down at the happy place.  :)

The last face character call was last week.  I've never seen so many people...over 700!  Most of them were not in entertainment.  It was fun to see them all waiting, all nervous, clutching headshots and resumes which the casting directors won't even notice.  The line was extreme.  But, thankfully, those calls never take too long.  Unless you get pulled, of course.

My dad was in town this week and I was bouncing on air!  We met up at the Polynesian and went over to Epcot for lunch at Nine Dragons.  We walked through the World Showcase together, browsing the shops and reminiscing about all of our past trips.  It was so much fun!  We went over to Studios and rode the Great Movie Ride, the Backlot Tour, Toy Story, and Muppets.  We especially loved Muppetvision.  It's always been a favorite of ours.  And I was decently impressed with our GMR cast.  Then we headed over to Cape May at the Beach Club and met Jenna for dinner.  We had a lot of fun...a great night!

We started off our Friday at Animal Kingdom and rode only two things: Kilimanjaro Safari and the train up to Conservation Station.  After a nice snack at Rainforest Cafe, I took my dad home to see my apartment.  He really liked it and thought we were getting a good value for our money.  I still can't wait to do a little more decorating.  We parked the car at the Boardwalk and took the boat back to Epcot.  We visited Pooh and Tigger in the UK and went to Future World to ride Spaceship Earth and Ellen's Energy Adventure.  On our way to Japan, we rode the Mexico and Norway boat rides.  We both agreed that Mexico's boat ride got better after the remodel.  Dinner in Japan was wonderful.  After all of the hassle trying to find people to eat with, we ended up dining with Ryan, Lindsay, Kyle, and Rob.  It was a great dinner and the company was priceless.



The next morning, my dad and I went to MK first thing and got to see the Welcome Show.  We were one of the first families to ride the Haunted Mansion on Halloween (which was wonderful).  Then we went to the Jungle Cruise (really good skipper!), Pirates, the TTA, and Buzz Lightyear.  After a loop around the park on the train, we headed to Fulton's for our farewell lunch.

It was so much fun having my dad in town.  You never really realize how much you need people in your life until you're away from them for such a long time.  My dad is amazing...and he's well aware of it.  I couldn't have asked for anyone better...I got the best train on the track.  ;)



In other news, I had two more rehearsals this week and both of them were a blast.  I'm starting to build up my stamina and I think I'm ready for my first overnight tomorrow.  Nothing says fun like an in-time of 11:30PM.  We all decided to make these overnights little potlucks.  My unit is bonding together so well and I love it.  It's like a second family.

Well, I must be off.  It's time for dance party...Einstein style!
~ Nikki

Guess what?  I'm back online!!

So, I apologize for my month-long hiatus, but I lost my computer.  Josh was carrying it into the living room and accidentally dropped it on his foot, cracking the screen.  And the computers at work won't let me access LiveJournal.  So, we have a lot to catch up on!

On a good note, my new computer has a built-in webcam, so I can start talking to people from home.  I'm very excited to get it working again.  I'm not very excited about moving all of my files to my new computer, but I figure that this would be a good time to start moving pictures I don't use on to an external hard drive to save some space.

So, what's been going on this past month?  Well, let's recap!

Lots and lots of Halloween parties and not much else.  I've really enjoyed being a cast spare for the parties because I've had the chance to spend time with lots and lots of friends.  So far, I've gone to Halloween parties with Pooh, Suzy, Timon, Terk, Bullseye, Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Bashful, and Dale.  And I still have a week to go and a promise to Sleepy.

My mom's former boss came to Disney about two weeks ago with his family.  Matt, Kris, and their two sons Jake and Ryan were simply adorable.  I'm sad I couldn't spend more time with them, but it was a very crazy work week.  We went to the Magic Kingdom together and I took them to go meet Mickey.  We also rode Philharmagic, Small World, and the Pooh ride together.  And on our way out, we walked past Spectromagic.  They came to the Halloween party and danced with Dale at Club 626.  I think they had a really great time.

Josh's parents came down for two days to visit with him.  I took his parents around Animal Kingdom before we went to go see Josh in MJJ.  That night, they went to the Halloween Party and got their picture taken with Pooh and Eeyore.  The next day, we all went to Epcot and got to ride Ellen and Mission: SPACE and I got to see the HP Lounge.  They also helped order my laptop and I am forever grateful to them.  They are such sweet people.  Josh's mom is so excited for her birthday cruise next month.  :)

My latest big news is that my dad is coming to visit!  He's doing business in Atlanta and is driving to Disney on Thursday to spend two days with me.  I am literally bouncing off the walls.  I haven't seen him in months and it feels like much too long.  We have our days planned around my rehearsals, including trips to Food and Wine at Epcot, a safari at DAK, Muppet mayhem at Studios, and hopefully some magic at the Kingdom.  I'm excited for all of the places we're going to eat: Nine Dragons, Cape May, Teppan Edo, and Fulton's.  :)  I will be one very happy camper...and will be hitting the gym extra hard!  He's going to get to meet some of my closest friends.  I'm sad he won't get to see me work, but we can fix that for later.

So, on to my rehearsal news!!  I had my first rehearsal on Thusday for the Christmas parade!  You may have noticed my userpic.  That's a picture from Disneyland's parade.  The WDW gingerbread men are getting a makeover this year, so they won't look exactly like that.  I loved my rehearsal so much!  The girls I'm working with are all sweethearts...and we're all brunettes, which I think is pretty funny.  The choreography is nice and simple, which I enjoy, especially since this is my first time on parade route.  I'd like choreography that isn't too complicated so I don't get overwhelmed.  We have two more rehearsals before our overnights start.  Then we have three overnights, the last of which is the cast preview.  We go public on the 10th.

Oh, and for those of you thinking about coming to the parties to see the parade, there is an incentive: Princess Tiana and Prince Naveen will be appearing in the Christmas parade only at the parties.  Once the parade goes to daily ops, they will be busy on the showboat.

Amazing transition, huh?  Let's talk about Tiana's Showboat Jubilee!

Josh got cast as a reveler for the jubilee.  It's a limited engagement show, so they're using lots of seasonal and CP's.  It's the first time WDW has done a show on the Liberty Bell, so there's a lot of hype for it.  The show involves 11 reveler couples, Tiana, Naveen, Louis -- the jazz-playing alligator, and perhaps a surprise visit from Dr. Faciller.  There's a processional from the Diamond Horseshoe down to the riverboat.  Then the boat travels up to Splash Mountain for a show stop before the boat finishes going around the river and back to dock for the recessional.  I'm very excited about seeing the soft opening tomorrow.  The music is fabulous and very catchy, direct from Randy Newman and the original movie.  Josh has shown me the choreography and it's right up my alley.  Very classic, similar to trolley.  The whole show has a 20's feel to it.  The girls' dresses are so adorable.  I can't wait for it!!

Well, I'm just going to do a quick photo update of the last month.  I couldn't delete any pics off of my camera, so it got pretty backed up.  hehe  Enjoy!!

  Visit to Cocoa Beach

  First time meeting Thumper and Ms. Bunny.

 Fall Fest '09 at Laura and Ben's.  Tarzan and Jane.

MNSS pictures...

         

       Extra Magic Hours

    Josh on stilts in MJJ

  At Cinderella, the ballet, with Libbi and Rob

Well, that was one ridiculous update!!  And now it's time for some grocery shopping, probably more cross-stitching, and preparing things to go into the mail.

Lots of love,
*~Nikki~*

Someone once told me, "Learn to listen.  Opportunity sometimes knocks very slowly."  Well, I've started listening.  Some days, it's a little harder than others.  But I've been listening.

Yesterday, I told you that Josh, Lindsey, Phil, and Sarah all found out about MJJ.  They were listening.  Whenever casting calls Josh, he always says, "When it rains, it pours."  Well, I thought about it yesterday and ended up saying that one day I hoped the storm would blow my way so I, too, could dance in the rain.

I went to the twirling audition this morning.  Kelly was running it and made comments about how she saw old and new faces, even faces that were already cast in Christmas parade.  Anyway, the audition was a lot of fun and I did enjoy myself.  The choreography we learned was the exact same from the workshop, which made me very comfortable.  The most difficult part was to put a toss right after a pirouette.  We also got a few counts of freestyle, which were fun.

Josh and I had decided to go to Blizzard Beach today.  While we went on the water slides, I kept listening to the Christmas music in the background, hoping that someday I would hear the music while on parade route.

After Blizzard Beach, we decided to go to the store.  I checked my phone to see how Crystal was feeling (because she was on her way to health services).  I had a voicemail and a missed call...from a 407 area code.  I checked the message...from Amber, the rehearsal director...letting me know that Magic Kingdom parade orientation had been added to my schedule because I am scheduled to learn Mickey's Once Upon a Christmastime Parade!!!!


(Picture of the Gingerbread Men that I took at the 2008 cast preview...aren't they precious?)

*squee*  The storm blew my way and I am loving every second of it!!

I don't know when my orientation is or when my rehearsals start.  The paperwork for the twirling auditions said we had to be avaliable from September 24th (maybe) to January 3rd.  Oh, and a few highlights about the Christmas parade.  We get to do a cast preview one night, we perform twice a night at the Christmas parties, then the Christmas parade becomes the 3 o'clock parade at the Magic Kingdom for about two weeks, and we get filmed and broadcast on TV on Christmas day!!!  (There's no guarantee I'll be seen on camera because the filming is a compilation of our parade and Disneyland's, plus they alter things for Christmas.  But there's still a chance.)

More details coming soon...

Love,
Nikki

-- "Patience pays off."

 I had my auditions this morning for Snowflakes for Christmas.  Long story short, you won't see me on skates in the Christmas parade.  It was a fun audition experience and I'm glad I went.  I've never been to a skating audition before.  I got to see a lot of casting and performance people that I know, which was nice.  They did first cuts after the first forty-five minutes and I didn't make it.  No big deal, though.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained.  And casting got to see my face again, which is always good.

So, Josh picked me up from DAK and we came home.  Within the hour, Josh got yet another 407 phone call.  He's learning Mickey's Jammin' Jungle Parade (MJJP)!  And in the next ten minutes, I found out that Lindsey and Phil are learning it, too!  I'm very excited for all of them.  After this, 6 of my close friends will be trained in MJJ.  And probably more since I have yet to hear from some of my other stilt boys.

Well, as Josh once said, "When it rains, it pours."  And it's right that he should say that.  Since getting SW Weekends before we moved in, he's gotten calls for MISICI (which he couldn't do), BPB (which he hasn't been officially approved in), Halloween, Spectro, and now MJJ...and we still have Christmas coming up.  And Lindsey, too...she just moved back down about two months ago and has already gotten Spectro and now MJJ...and, again, with Christmas still on the horizon.

All I can say is that I hope the storm blows over my way soon so that I can dance in the rain.

Need to get going, though...Josh and I are meeting Crystal at Blizzard Beach!

Yours always,
*Nikki*

 Happy September all.  I realize that it has been almost a month since I've posted here and I do apologize, especially to those of you who use this as the primary way to follow up with the chaos that is my life.  :)  And there is an explanation, other than being extremely busy.

These past few months have been a little trying on me.  I wish I knew what was the cause.  But I realized that all of my posts were so depressing and that I wasn't too happy myself...and I didn't want to spread my personal concern and depression with all of you, especially with my family.  I know you all worry about me and I didn't want to concern you.  Hence the lack of updates.

(To sum up, in the last month I got a little upset about casting, watched the after-effects of the cruise take place on the home front, saw a few close friends leave Disney, saw a few more come back, dealt with having five people in the apartment -- and noticed how apparently I'm the only responsible one most days, had a few encounters with the "green-eyed monster," struggled financially, and seriously thought I was going to lose a very close friend.)

Now, to the present.  :)

Halloween has started and it is turning out to be a wonderful time of year again.  I went to my first parade cast preview without Rob, which was very awkward.  (He couldn't make it, though...because he was in it!)  Instead of standing at our usual spot, we went across the street.  It was a lot of fun...me, Crystal, Libbi, Lindsey, Ryan, John, John, Phil...just like old times.  And everyone who wasn't normally with us was in the parade.  I know so many people in it this year and it feels great waving to them on route because they all do such a great job...Erik, Nate, Ben, Matt, Carly, Mitch, Tyler, Jonathon, Kevin, Katie, Sam, Rob, Charlie, Cody, Eric, Chris, Matt, TJ, Josh, and Sarah.  :)  I'm so proud of them all!

Crystal and I went to the first Halloween party on Friday, the 4th.  We dressed up as Glinda and Elphaba from "Wicked."  Surprisingly, most people got the reference.  We got all of our costume pieces (for the most part) from the Good Will and we turned quite a few heads.  People kept complimenting the costumes, telling us how great it was that we were staying in character, and were asking for pictures of us.  We visited characters all night and saw both parades, the fireworks, and the Villains show.  I was exhausted after, but it was a great night.

Yesterday was my 24th birthday and it was nice.  Granted, I was working, so it wasn't quite as spectacular as last year.  I ended up spending the day with June, which was the perfect way to work on my birthday.  She got a few special visitors throughout the day who made her smile.  After I got home, Josh and Crystal took me out to Olive Garden for dinner.  I'm still planning on having a social event of some kind.  I just don't know where or when.  I kind of just want people to come hang out so we can talk, but I don't know where.  It's kind of a work in progress.

I have auditions on Tuesday and Wednesday for Christmas...the skating snowflakes and the twirling candy cane maids.  I'm starting to get more nervous, but the way I see it...even if I completely bomb, I'm still showing my face to casting again.  They'll see my interest and if they don't want me to skate or twirl, maybe they'll find another use for me.  After all, Christmas is the time of the year for us shorties.  hehe!

The real reason why I'm nervous is...oh, did I mention I've been sick for the past four days?  :)  Josh and I are such amazing roommates.  We're so close now that we're even sharing colds.  lol  I've been putting myself up on the couch every day once I get up, surrounding myself with kleenex, advil, airborne, hot tea, soup, a computer, a puzzle, and the remote.  :)  The congestion is finally gone, but my voice makes me sound like either a six-year-old boy or a seventy-two-year-old man.  Josh thinks my "sick laugh" is adorable.  lol  But, anyway, I have enough problems with putting up a good performance face without the sniffles.  But I'm going to try to go skating tomorrow to get ready and I'm bringing my baton to work tonight.

Crystal is leaving in six days.  She's been here since our cruise in July.  It has been so wonderful having her around.  It's nice having another girl to talk to...something I've been taking advantage of.  (Don't get me wrong.  I love my boys, but sometimes I just need another girl around.)  We went to Typhoon Lagoon together last week and I'm sure we'll fit in something else before she goes.  We still have all of our dining discount coupons we have to use before October.  We went to the Biergarten in Germany with Virginia and Colleen this week, which was really nice.  I still really want to go to Teppan Edo.  I might start looking into that.

Right after Crystal leaves, Matt is coming back in town.  We met Matt on the cruise line.  He lives in Delaware and visited us in WDW before he went home for shore leave.  He's due back on the boat in a few weeks, but he's taking another week at WDW before he goes.  I'm excited to have him back.  We don't know each other too well, but he's a lot of fun to hang out with.  He and Josh have really bonded since the cruise, so they're excited to see one another.  My only concern is that I won't see much of them.  But they've both promised that we'll all hang out, so I'm not overly concerned.  :)

However, I'm still a little concerned about me.  I don't know if it's because I'm sick or not, but lately I keep finding that the thought of food is making me sick to my stomach.  I assure you, I am eating.  Promise.  But I'll be up for about 2 to 3 hours before I'll get hungry and then, like now, I have to force myself to eat.  Not really because I'm hungry, but because I know my body needs it.  It's coming out to about two meals a day with a snack or two in between.  Between that diet style and all of my exercises I do when I warm up before work, I'm really starting to notice how I'm losing inches, particularly around my waist.  Some days, my tummy looks better than others.  It's still not ready for Power Ranger spandex, but we're getting closer.  hehe

Speaking of my stomach, it's really rumbling now, so I'm going to dig into my ramen.  I have two hours until safari celebration and need to fit in my lunch, a shower, more laundry, and possibly a little more cleaning.  Whatever I don't do today, I'll do before I go skating tomorrow.  Tomorrow night I have a dance party.  I'm excited, but I hope I don't pass out from dehydration...especially from being sick.  So, we're starting the water intake today.

And so, good-bye unto you all.  Give me your hands, if we be friends, and Nikki shall restore amends.

Sorry about the lack of updates lately.  I guess there just hasn't been much to say.

I finally got adjusted to work again.  Having only a half week when I got back turned out to be just what I needed.  I had time to sit around the apartment, which made me realize how boring it gets sitting around and how I'd much rather be at work.  They pulled me from two of my shifts this week.  (Hence why I have the time to write this when I was originally supposed to be at MK right now.)  Although, funny story.  After pulling me from Play and Dine tomorrow, Studios called me today and wanted me to pick up the same shift they pulled me from.  Funny, huh?  Unfortunately for them, I'm going to color coding tomorrow, so I won't be able to.

I'm really excited about tomorrow.  After color coding, we're having our one year in entertainment picnic.  :)  It's kind of a little party for all of us who came around summer '08.  We're going to Mickey's Retreat for a cookout and to swim and play games.  Then we're hoping to go to MK later to see Kyle in MISICI and to see the rest of the boys in Spectro, followed by Wishes.  It should be a good night.  A few of us are working at can't make it, but everyone is there in spirit.

I still can't believe that this Saturday will officially be my one year.  Rob and I were driving yesterday and he brought that up.  "Can you believe this Saturday we met exactly one year ago?"  lol...we were reminiscing about Traditions and how we started talking.  He still remembers me in my little Asian shirt.  lol...what a memory.

So how do I feel about Disney a year later?

I still love it.  The degree of love fluctuates depending on my mood.  I very grateful that I decided to do the WDWCP when I did because I met the most amazing people.  Despite the fact that Cinderella Castle is literally a five minute drive, the people down here are what really make me call this home.

And most of our original family is still down here.  Gabby and Cynthia left, but right now the rest of my training group is still here.  Trent is leaving this weekend and Crystal is only in town for a few more weeks, but it's still so close it's like family.  Phil is kind of coming and going, but I think he's planning on moving down here.  Erik and Rob are both taking classes at Valencia in the fall, so they'll be around for a bit.  Ben and Laura are still going strong.  Erik has his part-time status.  Josh H. and Kyle are both full-time now.  Josh K will still be here with us until January.  Kelly came back for another CP and is planning on moving down here after it's done.  Rob's family is even talking about buying a condo down here.

It still baffles me that I've been down here for a year.  This was supposed to be a six-month program and now I have a lease until May.  Most days, I still love it down here.  The people, the job, the independence, it's all wonderful.  But some days (and a little more frequently lately), I miss home.  Last night, I really started missing my college friends (despite the fact that most don't stay in touch).  I've started to miss the little things at home.  Since I left Ohio last August, I've only been home once.  I honestly don't know why I haven't been home more.  Probably a combination of the hassle of making that work (flights, taking days off, etc.) and the dread that the week I decide to go is the week casting will decide to train me.

I know that there's more to this department than training, despite what everyone says.  I still really want to get trained and my eyes are fixiated on Christmas.  I signed up to do meet and greets for Halloween parties, so hopefully that will come through.  I'm still pretty disappointed that I won't be able to go to the parties with Rob and Josh since they'll be working, but I'm getting over it.  The way I see it...if everyone I know is working/parading for the parties, I may as well be there too and then I won't notice they're gone.

I just...I don't know.  I know I love what I'm doing, but I don't want to be doing meet and greets for the rest of my life.  I want to stay down here so I can build this up for my resume.  I'd love to get trained in the meantime.  But after Disney?  Who knows.  The thought of going back to the real world and getting a real job kind of scares me.  But I won't even consider leaving Disney until my lease is up.  We'll see where we are in a year and go from there.

*sighs*  Life down here is just one crazy rollercoaster.  I love it, at times it annoys me, and sometimes even aggravates me.  But I still love what I'm doing.  Not as much today as other days, but I still do.

The job is fine.  But there are still some clouds in the sky overhead and it's taking a little longer than normal for them to clear...

I'll post later about the cruise, promise.  Right now isn't the time for it.

Coming back home is like a reality check.  Going back to work was really awkward.  I mean, I was so excited because being on the cruise and watching everyone interact with the characters made me realize how much I do miss it.  Yes, I know I complain from time-to-time that  I'm not trained yet, but seriously...meet and greets are where the magic truly happens.  But anyway, going back was awkward.  After several days away from work, it takes a while to get back into the swing of things.  And it was a day partying with the chipmunks, which was weird and not normal.  My sunburn didn't help, either.

Coming back home also reminded me of little things you forget when you're on vacation...like, how you're going to pay for it when you get home...because despite the fact that you charge the cruise and almost everyone has paid you back, you can't help thinking you're account is a little shorter than it should be.  Then, on top of that, you forgot that the water bill was coming in and your credit card bill is due in a week...and you've prided yourself on not living paycheck to paycheck like so many of your other friends...and frankly, the fact that that is about to happen is scaring the living daylights out of you.

Oh, some good news on the home front.  New training in store for my boys.  Josh H and Jenni are learning Block Party.  Josh, Rob, Kyle, Erik, and Ben are all learning Halloween.  I'm thrilled for them all...they all deserve it.  I don't have anyone to go to Halloween parties with this year, but plenty of reasons to go see the parade.  Laura and I just smile and keep thinking that Christmas is our time to shine.

I guess one of the biggest things right now is I can't for the life of me understand how I'm feeling so completely and utterly alone right now, surrounded by all of my closest friends in the world...Josh is always here, Jason and Crystal are living with us now, and Rob's a phone call away.  But I feel so alone that it's killing me...and I can't understand it.

I think this is one of those mornings where I just need a good cuddle and a cry.  Who knows.  Jason and Crystal are both at work today and I think Josh and I are going out to see them later, which will be nice.  Hopefully enough to pull me out of this funk I found myself in.  I hate it.  I'm normally such an upbeat, positive person, and I don't know what's coming over me...all I know is I hate it.  I want the old me back...and soon.

Love and hopefully some more optimism later.  This just isn't my morning.

~ Nikki

Just a quick fix before going to bed...I'm exhausted.  :)

I went to a special Festival of the Lion King (FOLK) workshop tonight to learn some more about my good buddy Timon.  It was so much fun and I had a blast.  I can't wait to go back and watch the show again...and my grubs to Timon for everything that he does for that show.  He deserves it.

Anyway, I just wanted to brag for a minute about how amazing the next two weeks are going to be!  Why?  Let's look:

Tomorrow -- Clara's back in town!  Shopping with Margaret and Jenna.
Thursday -- 13 hours at the Contemporary with the chipmunks
Friday -- Studios toss-up
Saturday -- Back to the Contemp
Sunday -- Lunch and dinner with Pooh Bear all day!!
Monday -- Lunch with June (and I think this is the day that Peter's back in town!!)
Tuesday -- Jason's back in town!!  Paul is back in the states!!  Play day with Goliath
Wednesday -- Play day with June & country girls!!
Thursday -- Off and relaxing
Friday -- Crystal's back in town!!
Saturday -- Cruise!!!!!!

Oh, and now some rather Twilight Zone news.  *cue music*

Remember Paul?  He used to work at Liberty Tree and headed down under after his college program ended?  Well, he's almost done traveling the world and is on his way back to Florida.  He'll be back in the US on Tuesday.  But he loves cruises, so I messaged him to tell him that I'm going on my first cruise.  He messaged me back to tell me that he, too, is leaving on a cruise on the 18th that is leaving from Canaveral...that's the same day we're sailing!  It's not the same cruise, but still!  How weird is that?!  He said that maybe we'd run into each other at Canaveral.  Just...wow...  And partly wondering if it's fate or just a really big coincidence.

Anyway...must go!  My pillows are calling my name.

Love,
Sirona

**Bonus points if you can tell me where my subject is from**

I have got the most amazing, breathtaking news of my Disney life...to date, anyway.  I am thrilled to announce that...

I'M GOING ON A CRUISE!!!

A Disney cruise, to be specific.  :)  I know, I can't get away from it...and I can't say no to the discount either.

Crystal, Josh, Jason and I have been talking about going on a cruise together since about February or so.  We didn't know where or when, we just wanted to go.  Well, every month the Disney Cruiseline drops "space available" cruises on the cast member website for the month.  Basically, what they couldn't sell and can afford to give to the cast and a very nice discounted rate.  Two days ago, they dropped July's dates.  Crystal found one and immediately told us all.  Within the hour, it was booked.  :)

 The travel party...Crystal, Jason, Josh, and me!

So, we're going on the 7-night Eastern Caribbean cruise on the Disney Magic.



Here is the itinerary of our vacation:

Day 1 -- July 18th	Port Canaveral (60 miles out of Orlando)
Day 2 -- July 19th	At sea
Day 3 -- July 20th	At sea
Day 4 -- July 21st	Tortola (largest of the British Virgin islands)
Day 5 -- July 22nd	St. Thomas/St. John
Day 6 -- July 23rd	At sea
Day 7 -- July 24th	Castaway Cay (Disney's private island)
Day 8 -- July 25th	Port Canaveral

When my family goes to WDW, we always get really excited about dining.  So, it's no surprise that I can't wait to try out these three restaurants on board the Disney Magic:

    

1.  Animator's Palate -- The cuisine is literally a lit bit of everything, but the highlight is the restaurant itself.  It starts off in black and white and, throughout the evening, gradually turns to full color!
2. Parrot Cay -- The true taste of the Caribbean on the Caribbean cruise.
3. Lumiere's (exclusive to Disney Magic ) -- French-inspired cuisine set amidst "Beauty and the Beast"
**Plus, we get a character breakfast!!**
But the best part of dining on the DCL is that your waiter/waitress stays the same, so they get to know you.

  More pictures of the travel party.  :)

Now that we've talked about dining, let's talk about entertainment!!



This is the Walt Disney Theatre.  Forget the rest of the cruise, forget the beaches, I just want to move in here!  (Mom, I may not be coming back.)  This breathtaking theatre seats almost 1,000 guests and does world-class Broadway-style entertainment every single night, the classic stuff that Disney is famous for.  And every night, the show is different.

 

1.  The Golden Mickeys -- A Hollywood Studios-style celebration of the golden era, featuring many classic Disney characters.
2.  Disney Dreams -- A classic salute to all of the most enduring Disney films.
3.  Twice Charmed -- This is a retelling of Cinderella.  She has to win over the prince and do everything without the use of magic.

And there are still more to come.

Then, we'll get to Tortola, St. Thomas (optional excursions to St. John) and to Castaway Cay.  All over the ship and at Castaway Cay are areas set aside for the family, for kids, for teens, and just for adults.  I'm excited for the dance club and the Jellyrolls-like piano bar.

Oh, one more bonus of Castaway Cay:

  The Flying Dutchman from the "Pirates of the Caribbean" series.

Yes, that would be the Flying Dutchman at Castaway Cay!  (Next to the Disney Wonder)  It goes in perfectly with the pirate party they have during the week.

So, that's is for now!  Any monetary donations to Nikki's souvenier fund would be highly appreciated.  lol!!  Just kidding.  :)  I'm putting myself on a strict budget.  Thankfully, we get a discount on the merchandise.  (Too bad it doesn't work for the alcohol.)  Anyway, we set sail two weeks from today!!!



And don't worry...we'll send you a postcard!

I thought that this needed a post all for itself.

Guess who Laura found at the International Gateway yesterday?



Prince Phillip!!  (from "Sleeping Beauty")



Anyone who knows Disney knows that Prince Phillip is the best prince around because not only is he gorgeous, he was the first prince who refused to wait until the end of the movie to win the girl.  After all, he did slay a dragon.

...and anyone who knows me knows that Prince Phillip is the true love of my life.

 

So apologize to Princess Aurora...and to Laura, too -- who became quite smitten yesterday.

Back off ladies...Phillip is spoken for and he is mine!

Whenever I come home from a workshop, I always find myself to be in a very reflective mood.  It always coincides with the workshop.  If the workshop went well, I come home full of dreams and aspirations and confidence and smiles.  If it didn't go well, I'm a little more down-to-earth and pessimistic.

Well, tonight was Block Party Bash.  I've always enjoyed watching BPB and thought it would be fun to do, especially since I practically live at Studios.  I know it's a very demanding, high energy, technical parade.  As always, I went into the workshop with an open mind and did as best as I could with my body's demands.

I didn't come out smiling, but I felt much better than after High School Musical.  (As soon as I did my small group in HSM, I walked out without saying a word.)  I went into my shut down mode and just started thinking of things.  Here are my conclusions:

• I'm not ready for Block Party.  I couldn't go out on route tomorrow and do it.  Could I after the five-week rehearsal period?  Maybe.  Either way, BPB is too technically difficult for me.  I feel like I was putting forth too much effort to do the basics.  I don't have the training.
• I really, really want to be trained.  I've learned to be patient...and I still am...but the desires keep growing.  I know that I can do a parade.  All I need is for casting to give me that chance to prove I'm capable.  I think I'd do well in something a little more simple than BPB, like maybe day parade.  And, of course, Trolley.  I could go do Trolley after two days of training with a full smile.
• No matter how much I try, I can't make my smile look genuine while I'm dancing.  It always looks so forced...and forced smiles don't get cast.
• I'm not a dancer.  Pure and simple.  Down here, I'm an animator.  And, despite being told that I'm good at what I do, there are still days that go by when I don't believe it.
• Disney needs to create an Einsteins stage show.  :)
• I really want my chance in a parade...and I really want to skate for Christmas.
• I'm praying that Country Girls for Halloween isn't this difficult.  I'd love to be a country girl and I have the determination.  I just need to be impressive compared to the competition.
• As much as I would love to do rangers, I need to face the simple facts that while I do have the moves, I don't have the body.
• I may not audition well.  I workshop better, but I don't audition well.  But, in most cases, I have more determination for these shows and parades than anyone.

Somewhere in the middle of learning BPB, I started thinking about my cousin Katie, who was in town today.  She asked me how long I was going to stay down here and I told her that I just wasn't sure.  I'm still waiting for full-time, but I honestly don't know where I'll be when this lease ends.  A few days ago, I heard another entertainment girl tell a friend over the phone, "It's a great job, but it's not a career."  Couldn't agree more.  It would be damn impossible to make a career out of entertainment down here.

I guess I'm just nervous.  I really don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life.  Yes, I love my job, despite how easily I've been getting frustrated lately.  I really do want full-time so I can go back to working 5 days a week.  I want full-time in hopes of getting cast in something.

Somedays, I find myself sitting and thinking if I really do belong down here.  Over half of this department can dance circles around me (literally and figuratively).  I have a fair voice (definitely not equity quality), I'm not the best animator, and I'm only a decent actress, at best.

I've been starting to wonder if I should just throw in the towel for the arts altogether.  Yes, I love them...but still.  I found myself wondering if I really do belong in a classroom, or following in my parents' footsteps and doing something more technical (like banking or insurance).  A few situations in the past few days have made me realize that I am an excellent professional communicator.  Should I be doing something with that?

What should I be doing right now?  Is it stupid of me to be sitting here and waiting for this job?  Am I overlooking a golden opportunity elsewhere or should I just wake up, take a large dose of optimism, and saunter on?

I want to end with this song from Avenue Q that I've been thinking of a lot lately:

Ev'ryone's a little bit unsatisfied.
Ev'ryone goes 'round a little empty inside.
Take a breath, look around,
swallow your pride
for now.
Nothing lasts.
Life goes on, full of surprises.
You'll be faced with problems
of all shapes and sizes.
You're going to have to make
a few compromises
for now.
But only for now.


Ev'rything in life...is only for now.
~ Nikki

Oh, my God...this is the most amazing morning ever and I've only been awake for 15 minutes.

So, I've been really wanting to see Julie Andrews' "Victor/Victoria" again, so I went online this morning to see how much it cost at Best Buy.  For kicks, I decided to type in "Once Upon a Brothers Grimm."  It's an old movie musical from 1977 that my parents taped off of TV for me.  It stars Dean Jones and Paul Sand as Jakob and Wilhelm.  The basic synopsis of the movie is that the Brothers Grimm are on their way to present their collection of tales to the king and get lost in an enchanted forest, where they end up reliving all of their classic fairy tales.  It's a great movie with wonderful songs and terrific dance numbers.  Granted, it's from the 70's, so it looks a little nuts, but it's still a classic to me.  So much of a classic that a couple of years ago, I found a VHS copy online and quickly bought it.  Anyway, I've been wanting to show it to my friends down here and thought about asking my Dad to burn it to a DVD for me.

Back to Best Buy...I searched and would you believe that they have it on DVD!!!  Apparently it came out on those cheap DVDs a few years ago as a double feature with a little movie called "Pinocchio" starring Sandy Duncan and Danny Kaye!!  That is ridiculously ironic because that's the same version of Pinocchio that my parents taped for me, too!  "Pinocchio" wasn't as good as "Grimm," but it was still really well staged.  For me, it's just so much fun watching young Danny Kaye play old Geppetto.  And Duncan was an amazing Pinocchio.

Anyway, I splurged and it's on its way here!  OMG, we're having a movie party!  I'm so excited!



...

Meanwhile, back in real life, I've had the last two days off and today is my third.  My body is grateful after my 10 days of work, but my mind is going cuckoo.  Monday was rough because I didn't do much.  I was hoping to see my cousin Katie, but our plans fell through, so I ended up at home most of the day.  But I did make good progress on my puzzle.  Yesterday, I ran a few errands and decided to get lost at Jo Ann's for a little bit.  I walked out about an hour later with a smile on my face, a pretty piece of scrapbook paper, and a beautiful picture frame.  I was looking for a collage frame for our apartment, but I have yet to find one I like in a nice deep brown to match.  I also saw a lot of Disney scrapbook stuff that I really liked.

Speaking of my scrapbook, it's coming along very well.  Every once in a while, I make a little progress on it.  I need to go back and fix a few pages, but I'm nearly done with Peter's.  I think I'm going to start working on my personal pages.  I want at least one page for each of my closest friends.  I already saw the paper I want to use on Winnie the Pooh's page.  It's so pretty.

Oh, so last night was the Hall of Presidents cast preview.  We ended up seeing the last show of the night.  Josh laughed on our way out, thinking about how we were the first people to see it the month it opened since it was a midnight showing.  They have changed a lot of the things at the attraction, but there is still a swell in your heart when you see all of the presidents on stage together.  When they announced Rutherford B. Hayes, I patted my heart softly and mumbled, "That's my husband."  lol  I miss being Lucy.  My one face role.  hehe

   Myself as Lucy Webb Hayes at the Rutherford B. Hayes Presidential Center's Summer Tea, '07.

It's so funny.  You know how people sometimes Google themselves to see what comes up?  If you Google my name, the most common returns are related to my college and to the Hayes Center.  :o)

Ugh...I wish I could go back to sleep.  Since Josh's car broke down, we've been carpooling to work.  I think my body has gotten so used to waking up at 8:30 for Rangers that it just woke itself up.  lol...blech.  No more sleep for Nikki...not now, anyway.

Well, I bid you all a wonderful July morning!
~ Nikki

I thought I'd post a little update before Town Square action tonight.

Lately, life has been revolving around work and workshops.  In the past months, I've been to so many I can't remember them all.  Most recently, waltzing 101 and inline skating.  Next week is quad skating, puppetry, and Block Party.  The workshop schedule for July is amazing and I can't wait to go to all of them, especially more skating and country girls for Halloween.

I got a little gutsy this week and e-mailed casting about the seasonal parades.  I got responses from all three and they were all very encouraging.

The next day, my new schedule dropped...with only one day of work.  That's the first time that's happened and I know it won't be the last.  I'm praying for a full week tomorrow.  But I'm picking things up for next week.  I'm going to get a day and play and dine, more time with Terk, and possibly time with the chipmunks, plus three workshops.  And I actually have the Fourth of July off.  I've been thinking about going to the Poly beach to see the fireworks over MK.

This week has been full of social events.  On Sunday, I went to a Block Party pool party.  I went to Jenni's birthday party on Monday night, I was out for Phil's birthday Wednesday night, and last night was our theme party: "What are you wearing?"  Tonight is Ben and Nate's going away party.  This is the most social interaction I've had outside of work in a long time...and it feels great.

Oh, I did take apartment pictures.  Here they are!  I'll post the link with my other links shortly.

Need to go make mayhem with munks.  lol  See ya!

Hey there!  A few fun updates and some cool stories await...hop on in!

So, I think I'm slowly getting out of my funk, and I owe that to some amazing breakrooms this week with really fun people who kept me smiling.  I spent two days at DAK this week, which was a little weird, but -- I think -- necessary.  It was nice working outside of Studios for those two days.  I had breathing room again and the chance to hang out with people I don't see too often.  Both the Boat Dock and Bradley Falls were a blast.  In two days, I saw Sarah, Colleen, Mitch, Ben, Daisy, and Kyle...all just from work.  I also met some really cool CPs who just came here about a month ago.  Anyway, by the time those two days were done, I was happy again.

On Monday night, Josh and I went to a jazz class.  I haven't had that much fun dancing in a long time.  It was a slightly difficult routine, but I was able to keep up with it and dance it full out.  I found out the instructor used to work for WDW, which was really funny and slightly ironic.  He's on vacation from now until August, but the studio is going to e-mail us all when he's back in town.  I can't wait to go back...I had so much fun!!  Yellow movement, here I come!

Tuesday was equally as enjoyable because I got to spend the whole day with Kelly!  Yes, Kelly is back in town.  She's on another CP as an attendant, but she's back!  Yay for another girl.  We went to get her new ID and quickly headed to MK.  I took her to see the new day parade, Stitch's show, and MISICI.  She agreed that MISI was great, day parade was so-so-, and Stitch wasn't so hot.  But, who cares?  Kelly is back!



Wednesday (yesterday) was completely crazy.  I started off my morning with another workshop: Waltzing 101.  As per usual, there weren't enough guys, so they got to practice about three times as much because they had to partner all of the girls.  I had a lot of fun dancing with Josh, Ben, Josh E, Mitch, and Stephen.  Josh is just a natural with a strong lead and Ben looks very proper, which is only appropriate.  I felt so awkward dancing with Mitch because he's my height, but we had to wear heels to the class, so I was towering over him.  :)

Anyway, following Waltzing, I came home for a little bit before heading over for some kitty lunch coverage.  It was a nice time, but the restaurant was really hot.  After my first shift, I drove to Peter's apartment and met up with him and Josh.  We watched a really weird movie, but had a lot of great laughs.  Over those four hours, Josh got a call that he's learning MISI stilts and Peter got a call that he had to go learn new choreography for Voyage, despite the fact that he's leaving.  (Peter got a contract with the South America tour of Disney Live!.  He's leaving in about a week for a year to be part of "Mickey's Magic Show.")

After Peter's, I went back to Studios to finish out my day at the EMH dance party.  Poor Goliath had a rough night because everyone was pulling his tail, but he danced one very impressive Cotton-Eye Joe.

Today was a fun, yet crazy day.  I woke up early to go back to Studios.  I visted Jonathon, who was on break from Playhouse.  I ran to see the SPD Red Ranger and went to Narnia to bid a fond farewell to my beloved prince.  It will be a sad year with him away, but I know he'll have fun.



I ran out shopping with Rob and FINALLY bought a memory card for my new digital camera.  (So, expect apartment pictures soon!)  I also bought everything I needed for dinner.  Rob and I dodged the monsoon and I was able to prepare a delicious dinner for Josh, Peter, and myself.  I'm quite proud of myself that I was able to make dinner without destryoing the kitchen.  We watched "Sydney White" and talked together.  And before he left, Peter wrote his dedication for my scrapbook, ending with, "...and remember, you are always welcome in Narnia."  When I read it, I nearly cried.



More to come later.

Ciao!
~ Nikki
 

I got my housewarming present from my parents the other day.  They sent me a George Foreman grill...and I love it already.  I made a ceasar chicken pasta salad the other night and the chicken was so tasty.  I'm looking forward to trying other marinades.  I also got my new camera in the mail the other day, which means that I will soon be posting pictures of the apartment.  Next week, I'm going to buy a memory card for it because the camera's internal memory only holds 4 pictures.  So the pictures will probably be up sometime in the next week.

I made my first payments for rent and electricity the other day.  I feel so accomplished.  The next credit card payment is going to be a doozy because it has my furniture on it.  I'm not looking forward to making that payment, so I'm going to wait until a few more checks come in.

Speaking of checks, I got my hours for the new week.  I've only got 32 hours, so I'm going to try to pick up another day of work, or try to extend one of my two days.

I'm still in a little bit of a funk and I can't shake it.  I keep coming home from work discouraged, which is aggravating.  I still think I'm doing a good job at work and I keep getting good comments, but I keep on thinking that I just can't do well enough.  Everyone is training right now and talking about training.  A bunch of people I know are training for Spectro and Fant.  A few people have their fingers crossed for Block Party later this summer.  And some other people are going through character training for exclusive friends.

I keep going to all of these movement workshops.  Truth, I am having fun there.  When I'm comfortable with what I'm doing, I do have fun.  But, depending on the workshop, sometimes I get frustrated.  I know I don't have the dance background that the people down here have.  Most of people down here have been dancing for years.  I bounced from activity to activity and didn't really stick with anything.  (I was one of those people who wanted a foot in everything instead of being proficient in one thing.)  I still want to go to classes.  I want to do better so I can do more things in this company.

Right now, I keep getting the feeling that where I am right now is as far as I can go in this department.  And I can't live with that.

~ Nikki

P.S.  On a plus side, Whitney and Kelly are coming in town this weekend.  I'm in desperate need of girls to talk to.  I really need Crystal and Clara back.  Summer can't come soon enough.

You're gonna miss this.
You're gonna want this back.
You're gonna wish these days
hadn't gone by so fast.
These are some good times.

I apologize in advance.  This post isn't going to be quite as sunny and cheerful as my others have been.

I'm in a rut.  I thought I was out of it, but I'm still in it.  Thankfully, I don't think I can sink any lower than I am right now.

It's the same rut...I'm bored with my routine of things...with wake up, go to Studios and be a spare/chill at Stars, come home and sit for a bit, cook, Josh comes home and we eat and watch a movie or some TV, go to bed, and repeat.  Even on the days when Rob comes over, things don't change.  Going bowling a few nights ago was fun and kept me distracted, but I'm back to this.

And I shouldn't be.  I know one of the reasons I'm in this rut is because I'm losing the enjoyment of Stars.  Yet, I was hanging out with Terk yesterday (which was a lot of fun), and today I was at Play-n-Dine, which is one of my favorite locations on property.  I shouldn't be this down.

Also, in addition to everything, I now have this lovely bumpy rash on the surface of my left hand, and just a little on my right.  It has me worried.  I don't know if it's an allergic reaction to something or what.  I stopped using the new soap we bought and just washed all of my clothes, towels, and bedding.  I did some online research and it looks a little like scabies.  Scabies is nothing serious, just an itchy rash.  But it requires medical treatment and I hate anything medical.  Frankly, I'm just scared of it.  I don't yet have the nerve to go to an UrgentCare on my own.  I talked to my dad about it and he suggested I keep using the cream the pharmacist recommended and keep an eye on it.  My next two days off are Thursday and Friday.  If it doesn't clear up by Friday, I'll go after color coding.  I hope it's nothing that's going to take me away from work.  Despite the rut, I do enjoy work.

To add to the rut, I did some more research today.  Spectromagic is training right now and a lot of my friends are in it.  Granted, they're all the taller boys, but still.  They're getting trained, which is great for them.  I went online to see who else was getting trained and saw a couple of people in my height range.  Most are full- or part-time.  But there are three college program girls who are getting trained, all of whom got here in January, at the latest.  One of the girls I worked with today got here in February and she's getting trained.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

It's weird how life works.  I remember back in college when things were getting rough, I kept telling myself that I had to stick things out because I had so much to look forward to: graduation, Disney, the summer, spending time with the guy I was dating, etc.  Well, a year later, graduation came and went and nothing really happened.  I still love Disney and I'm grateful to be down here.  My summer that year was a mudslide.  And I'm not with anybody anymore, so I can't look forward to that comfort and security.

If he and I were still together, this Wednesday would have been our seven year anniversary...the thought of that gives me chills in so many ways.

*sighs*  I don't know.  Among other things, I think I need some quality girl time with someone who really understands me.

Well, that's my pessimistic attitude.  Now, let's try to be optimistic.

• I only have two more spare shifts this week.
• I have Thursday off and am trying to make plans.
• On Friday, I have my color coding and I'm determined to walk out of their satisfied with my performance.
• I was able to register for waltzing 101 this morning.
• On Saturday, I get to see Wazowski for the first time in months.
• Next week, I can register for the quad skating workshop.
• Next week, I also have a dance party.
• The inline skating workshop is also this month.
• I have new puzzles to work on.
• Whitney and Kelly are moving down in about a week.
• Clifton and Clara will be down in three weeks; Crystal by mid-July; and hopefully Jason in late July.
• My parents are sending me down a replacement digital camera and a housewarming present.

See?  I have things to look forward to.  Maybe what I'm searching for is more of a long-term goal.

*sighs again*  Anyway, so much for this installment of "Days of Our Nikki."  I apologize it wasn't that cheerful and I hope this wasn't the first thing you read in the morning.  But you'll be fine.

heh...y'know, for some random reason, I just thought back to the play I starred in my junior year in college: "An American Daughter."  The last line from that play is completely fitting right now...and I would like to share it with you now.

"Our task is to rise and continue."
-- Dr. Lyssa Dent Hughes
"An American Daughter" by Wendy Wasserstein